How to find out how much someone paid for their house

In polite society, certain questions are off-limits.

“How much do you weigh?”, “What do you earn?” and “When is the baby due?” are generally no-go zones, with possible exceptions if the person asking is a personal trainer, accountant or obstetrician.

In an economy seemingly obsessed with the minutiae of real estate, from booms to bubbles and everything in between, is it rude to ask how much someone’s house cost?

The family home is the biggest single investment most people will make. With nearly 480,000 homes sold in Australia last year according to Domain Group data, more than a little curiosity is understandable.

Anna Musson, an etiquette expert from The Good Manners Company, says it’s best to tread carefully when discussing anything to do with finance.

“Money has always been a sensitive topic,” Musson says. “Asking a person how much their house is worth is like asking how much money they make.”

That’s not to say it’s impossible to find out how much your friend splashed out on his or her new digs. It just means the terminally nosy might need to employ more subtle lines of enquiry (see sample questions below).

This could involve approaching the conversation with peripheral questions about the property market and recent trends in the area.

“From an etiquette standpoint, if they’re a really close friend, they might be more likely to disclose how much they paid. If they’re not, or if you don’t know them, you just don’t ask,” Musson says.

Real estate agent Braden Walters says homeowners who think they paid too much are often the most reluctant to reveal their purchase price.

Walters, a director of the Real Estate Institute of NSW, says agents have access to sale price databases, so usually know the answer without having to ask prospective clients the question.

“I don’t think it’s rude to ask anyone how much they paid for their house. For some people, it’s a bit of a chest-beat … it’s like an expensive car. They want to show it off,” he says.

If subtle methods don’t work and that hankering to know just won’t subside, recent sale price information is available online on sites such as Domain’s Home Price Guide. In cases where the property hasn’t yet settled, the agent can usually reveal the sale price.

Musson warns people can feel their privacy has been invaded when friends look up their information online, even when the details are in public domain.

“If they comment that it’s on the market and suggest you have a look online, a cheery ‘Oh, super. Do you mind if I look it up? I can add page views!’ might work.

“If they’re being a bit cagey, simply look up the property online and say nothing. This will give you a price guide and a look around without them feeling they have compromised their privacy.” 

Ways to (politely) enquire how much your friend paid

“Were you happy with the price?”

“There’s not much around for under [insert upper limit]”.

“Prices have gone up so much since you bought. You must be pleased.”

“You have such a lovely home. We would love to be able to live around here.”

“Were there many other properties to choose from?

Ways to (politely) avoid your friend’s enquiries

“We paid too much!”

“I think all the information is online.”

“Look, without saying the exact figure, it’s a little more than our previous house and still under [insert higher figure].”

“I’d prefer not to say.”