Questions to ask potential housemates (with expert tips for spotting red flags)

Let’s set the scene: you’re heading home after a busy day at work.

The thought of a quiet evening in front of the TV has kept you going all day, right up until the moment you unlock the front door – and that’s when you hear them.

Your housemate is having a party. Without asking. On a Monday night.

Whether it’s differing schedules or disagreements over shared bills, living in a sharehouse has its challenges. Knowing what to ask potential housemates – before you get them to move in – can save you a lot of hassle and awkward conversations.

5 essential housemate interview questions

Sarah Elkordi, founder and director of tenants’ agency The Rent Fairy, says these are the basic questions that every housemate interview should cover:

1. How do you usually handle household chores and shared responsibilities? This question helps gauge whether a person is organised and values cleanliness. It can also reveal if they are open to a fair system for sharing tasks, or if they have expectations that might clash with yours.
2. What’s your typical daily routine, especially in terms of noise or socialising? Understanding someone’s schedule is essential for avoiding conflicts. If you’re an early riser and they’re a night owl, for example, it’s worth setting expectations around noise and shared spaces.
3. How do you like to handle shared expenses like utilities and groceries? Financial disagreements can often be a source of tension. This question helps determine if the person is responsible and has clear expectations when it comes to paying bills or splitting costs.
4. How do you feel about having guests over regularly? Some people prefer a quieter space while others want a more social living environment, which could lead to friction if not addressed upfront.
5. What do you value most in a living situation, and what would make you feel uncomfortable or unhappy in a shared space? This open-ended question gives insight into their priorities and boundaries, and gives them a chance to express any deal-breakers early on.

Other basic questions include asking if they work from home and whether they have pets, or plan to in future. Don’t forget to ask for any references to verify what a candidate has said.

It’s not a housemate interview – it’s a conversation

Guy Mitchell, founder of Flatmate Finders, shared homes in several countries until his mid-40s.

Based on his experiences and those of his customers, Mitchell has found that a conversational approach is best in housemate interviews.

“I recommend that people ask questions within the structure of a conversation, rather than a series of questions, so the interaction is more natural and organic,” he says.

Mitchell suggests starting with the following topics:

• What do their relationships look like? Ask about whether they have family or friends nearby, or further away. Those with diverse long-term relationships are usually strong communicators.
• What are their thoughts on personal space and privacy? This tells you a lot about whether they’ll be considerate and mindful of noise and unexpected guests, and respect food that isn’t theirs to eat.
• By asking about values and big ideas, you can gauge how well they’ll fit in with other occupants. Similar attitudes can foster friendships and create a harmonious home, so it’s essential to be on the same page about topics like social media, LGBTQIA+ rights, foreign aid, the environment, climate change, religion and substance use.

“There could be benefits in asking questions like, ‘What do you do to feel better when stressed?’ but they can also feel a bit invasive,” Elkordi says.

“If you’re meeting for the first time, focus on addressing practical scenarios like handling shared responsibilities or house rules. When approached tactfully, you can reveal important red flags without making the candidate feel uncomfortable.”

5 common housemate interview red flags

Elkordi is experienced in mediating household disputes between tenants, and says there are a few early signs renters can look out for at the interview stage.

1. Lack of respect for boundaries

If a candidate is overly inquisitive about private details or infringes on your personal space during the conversation, this could signal future issues with sharing resources or household expectations.

2. Inconsistent or vague answers

If a prospective housemate is evasive when asked about key details like cleanliness, habits, work schedules or how they typically handle shared responsibilities, it could suggest they haven’t thought through what living with others entails.

3. Poor communication skills

Are they talking over you, or coming across as defensive? If someone doesn’t take the time to listen to your needs or answer your questions thoughtfully, this could indicate misunderstandings or unresolved conflicts to come.

4. No interest in shared responsibilities

If the candidate is passive or unwilling to contribute, this can lead to tension around shared chores later on. Both parties should be on the same page at the interview stage when it comes to the division of tasks like cleaning and managing bills.

On the flip side, Elkordi says over-the-top promises can sometimes signal a desire to say anything to get the spot – are they being entirely honest about their habits, lifestyle or expectations?

5. Negative or critical attitude

Pay attention, Elkordi says, if a candidate speaks negatively about previous living situations or landlords. While it’s normal to express some dissatisfaction, excessive negativity or blame-shifting could signal they have trouble getting along with others or compromising.

Flexibility is key to resolving conflict, Elkordi says, so look out for signs that they seem rigid about their own preferences. For example, they might have very strict rules around the cleanliness of common areas or not be willing to adjust to others’ needs.

When are red flags and the right questions not enough?

Some red flags are easy to spot, but this is not always the case.

“No matter how diligent you are when interviewing potential housemates, you can’t foresee everything that person will do within your tenancy,” says Zoë Goodall, research associate and PhD candidate at Swinburne University of Technology.

In 2024, Goodall published her research findings in partnership with Wendy Stone, professor of Housing & Social Policy at Swinburne. Their research highlights the unseen risks of sharehouse arrangements, and the pair have called for policies with greater protections for individual tenants in Australia.

Their work, Stone explains, found that “the more that these policies are directly informed by the lived experiences of people who are often neglected in policies, including sharehouse tenants, the more effective and fair these policies are likely to be”.

“Ideally, as the regulatory reforms continue to roll out, they will increasingly be developed and legislated in ways that reflect the fact that Australian households are not all family units, and that our society has a growing number of individuals sharing their housing, whose rights and risks also need protecting,” says Stone, who believes in the potential benefits of a nationally coordinated approach for tenant regulation.

Goodall adds: “Sharehouse problems can affect your whole life – emotionally, financially and legally… it’s not always about, ‘Why did they drink all the milk? Why don’t they ever clean the toilet?’

“Sometimes the problems are: ‘This person hasn’t paid rent, and now we’re all in arrears,’ or ‘I needed someone to move in ASAP so we could afford the rent, but now I’ve realised they’re unsafe.’ ”