A cushy friendship: How many cushions is too many?

Sitting on my couch is never lonely. And I really mean it when I say never. There’s always someone on the couch. Sometimes it’s even hard to find room and carve myself a spot as I try to wedge myself between friends.

You ask them to move over and they don’t budge. They’re an attractive bunch too, they’ve been trained to always look their best with their chests puffed out and fancy clothes.

But there’s more to them than just looks, they offer comfort – try tilting your head on one and watching Survivor on television sideways. That’s the definition of living.

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At this stage, six sentences in, you’ve probably twigged: I’m talking about one of the greatest friendships a woman can have, and that’s with her cushions.

I’ve rested on them, cried on them, screamed into them, napped on them and even drooled on them. They’ve seen every side to me and are unequivocally accepting.

Cushions have always been in my life and I never thought it was something to think twice about until my boyfriend was tidying up the couch and asked: “Do we really need this many cushions?”

I could see his point. A 2007 study by Robin Dunbar, an evolutionary psychologist and primate specialist at Oxford University, shows that humans are only able to maintain five close friendships at any given time.

It’s about quality, not quantity but as I counted the seven cushions scattered on our couch I chose to ignore this fact and thought about how best to answer my boyfriend’s question.

Had he ever sat on a couch without cushions? Probably. But why would he? I can’t imagine anything worse than sinking into a couch without feeling supported and propped up.

Things get lost in couches all the time and I don’t want to be one of them.

Or maybe I’m still reeling from the time I fell asleep with my neck craned on the sofa arm rest, woke up and made a new friend: the physiotherapist (who I saw twice a week for a month). I’ve learned to never take a good cushion for granted.

Now I realise cushions are like earrings – you don’t need them. They’re an accessory, not a necessity but when you find the right one you want to proudly show it off every day.

This doesn’t mean subjecting your cushion to purgatory on the couch until sun pouring through the lounge room bleaches it’s cover; it means you can move them around the house too.

The bed is a prime position but controversial choice for some. My general rule is, if you can’t take them on and off the bed in under 10 seconds, you’ve got a problem.

I’ve also learned adding a cushion to a boring, uncomfortable desk chair really makes work feel like it’s being done from the recliner chair of a Gold Class cinema. Just try not to fall asleep on the job.

Cushions are scattered everywhere around my apartment and on the odd occasion I’ve even tripped over them. But that’s the good thing about cushions: they’ll always break your fall.

And finally, I had my answer. As we zhoosjed and puffed the last of our couch cushions, I turned to my boyfriend and said: “Yes we need them all because too many cushions is never enough.”