Carlene Duffy's top 5 things she'd never have inside her home

I know you should never say never, and I feel like I need a disclaimer for what I’m about to lay out here because, typically, there are exceptions to every rule, and I reserve the right to change my mind.

That said, I feel 98.6 per cent confident that I will never want the following items anywhere in my home (terms and conditions apply).

On some of them, I think you’ll agree. On others, maybe you won’t …

Taxidermy

I think most people would agree I have an open-minded approach to interiors, but I absolutely draw the line at dead animals in the house.

I’m not a vegan if that’s what you’re thinking, so it doesn’t necessarily come from an ethical standpoint. I just don’t get why anyone would want a stuffed stag head looking at you from the wall, a constant reminder that that animal once breathed life and is now no more.

I can absolutely appreciate the art of taxidermy. It is amazing how taxidermists can preserve something so well but, the art of it is where the buck stops for me.

A TV (in my living room)

I’ve been there done that, and it just doesn’t work for us.

In our open-plan homes, the sound of the TV in the living room typically dictates the mood and feel of the entire common living area, including the kitchen and dining. I loathe the sound of the TV unless I’m watching it, which is hardly ever. I also argue that the sound of the TV limits conversation that would otherwise happen in the kitchen while you’re making dinner, for instance.

Televisions are for TV rooms. You might argue that a dedicated TV room is a luxury, and I would agree with you, but the difference between me and most people is that I would include that dedicated TV room in my floor plan at all costs. If I needed to, I’d make bedrooms smaller, or I’d convert a garage. I’d be a magician to ensure that TV stayed out of my common living zone.

Fake plants

Fake plants have never been OK with me, but they are becoming increasingly jarring. So much so that I’m even struggling with the “fakeness” of the Christmas tree this year. Dare I say it? I’m contemplating buying a real tree next year and suffering through the ever-falling pinecone needles that are certain to be a constant mess on my floor, but it’s a testament to my loathing of fake plants.

This is not to say that everyone should be a green thumb and have an abundance of real plants in their home. On the contrary, I think you should only keep what you know you can keep thriving with little outlay. That, for me, is two large plants that are within easy access of the kitchen for watering purposes because if I can’t see it, it won’t get tended to.

A urinal

Contrary to my introduction, under NO conditions do I want a urinal in my home.

I had a client suggest the idea for their own home recently, and I had no words. I stayed quiet while the husband and wife worked it out between them. The final call was a no; they did not want a urinal. For one thing, gross! And the other thing, gross!

A urinal can only be used by a male, which means you’ll always also need an actual toilet in the space for any females using the bathroom. As designers, we go to great lengths to ensure toilets are discrete in the space, so why would anyone want more “toilety” looking appliances than they absolutely need? Urinals belong in public toilets. The end.

A crisp white sofa

I think I walk a reasonable line when it comes to aesthetics versus functionality, but for the life of me, I cannot work out how anyone lives with a white sofa.

Even if you have the slipcover variety that allows you to remove the cover and throw it in the washing machine, you’re still adding unnecessary maintenance to your life. You would surely have to wash that slipcover once a fortnight or, even once a week if you have young kids who have not learnt the social etiquette of hand washing. Let’s face it, my tween and teen have barely learnt this art.

I wouldn’t trust myself to sit on a white sofa without dirtying it, and a sofa is good for nothing if not for relaxing. I want to be able to sloth on my sofa and not be concerned with keeping it untarnished, which means it needs to be anything other than white.

Led by a passion for interior design, Carlene runs Cedar and Suede, a full-service interior design studio based on the Gold Coast.