The low-cost, ingenious way Danny Katz organises the chaos of his bedroom

Some people have a bedroom with a walk-in wardrobe in it. We have a walk-in wardrobe with a bedroom in it.

It’s a small bedroom, a tiny bedroom: just a bed inside a room. Not much else fits in there: a couple of skinny bedside tables, too skinny to hold a book — but it can just about hold a bookmark, balanced on its edge.

Also a chest of drawers, but you can’t open the bottom drawers unless you lift the mattress. We haven’t opened those drawers since we moved in. No idea what’s in there. The curiosity and intrigue has sustained our relationship for the last 15 years.

It’s kind of nice having a bedroom that’s just a bed inside a room. It’s cosy, like sleeping in a retro caravan or a cardboard packing-crate for a dishwasher. And it’s handy if you get a Midnight Pee Urge: you can get from the bed to the bedroom door in just two steps. One step, if you use the mattress as a vaulting springboard, though you have to be careful of the low-hanging pendant-light and the low-lying partner-skull.

But for all the nice, cosy, pee-convenience of a small bedroom, there are a couple of negatives. There’s no place for a bedroom TV and for many people, life without a bedroom TV is hardly worth living.

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Then there’s the issue of storage. Storage is the buzzword of contemporary bedrooming. People want built-in wardrobes and bespoke shoe-benches and adjustable sock-dividers and linen-box-ottomans and somewhere in the room, a bed — maybe hidden in the pull-out soft-closing colour-coded tie-tray.

But we haven’t got space for any of that, so we’ve had to turn to an ingenious, low-cost Scandinavian clothes-storage solution. It’s called “Hoök OnnBäkkkkuv Doör”.

Let me describe how the “Hoök OnnBäkkkkuv Doör” storage system works. There’s a tiny metal curly device called a “hoök”, and it’s fastened to the “bäkkkkuv doör” with “a coöple of skrëws”. And this storage device can hold up to 200 kilos of textiles on coathangers.

Our entire wardrobe hangs off our “hoök”. Pants, suits, pant-suits. Dresses, shirts, dress-shirts. Jeans, jackets, jean-jackets. The back of the door is so thick with clothes, you can’t fully open it any more — it just bounces back on a cushion of sweaters and a huge furry Sasquatch-sized winter coat with toggle-nipples.

“Hoök OnnBäkkkkuv Doör” has solved all our storage problems: I cannot recommend it highly enough — and it works seamlessly with the compatible “Knöb OnnBäkkkkuv Doör” handbag n’ scarf organiser.

Only when you shut the door at night, do things get a bit creepy. It’s like someone’s standing behind the door, just watching you in the dark. With a tiny metal-hook head.

Holding a Che Guevara souvenir beachbag.