Gardening fails: Confessions and lessons learned from former plant killers

Passionate about gardening but lack the prerequisite thumb colour? Stick with it, as three former plant killers will attest, failures in the garden can turn them green. Eventually.

“Gardening fails – I’ve had a few,” says Liliana Sorossi. “Like the time I spent two weeks constructing a hanging balcony garden, only to arrive home to mass carnage two days later.”

Sorossi was later told that plastic blinds plus direct sunlight equals devastation. “I had literally cooked my plants,” she says. “Sure I had killed the odd balcony plant, but it took death on this scale for me to admit that my nursery doesn’t deal in dodgy plants. It was all me.”

Undeterred, she continued to garden but admits her early successes were unanticipated. “I had nothing to do with them,” she says. “I found a thriving plant trapped in a cupboard that had survived without water or sunlight for six months. For some reason this boosted my confidence. So did the tree sprouting from half an avocado in the back of my fridge!”

For Miriam Karsten, there was no species too robust she couldn’t kill. “I have murdered succulents and natives which takes a special kind of skill,” she says.

After numerous heartbreaks, Karsten thought a vegetable patch might be within her skill range. “I planted everything close together because I estimated, based on no prior knowledge or experience, that one in three might sprout. Shockingly they all did, but because they were so crowded, they couldn’t get any sun and died. I wasn’t discouraged though. YouTube tutorials have saved me, and my garden.”

Now an accomplished gardener, Karsten has transformed her home into a greenhouse. “I maximised the sunny aspect and allowed lots of natural light in,” she says. “I house a seven-foot fiddle leaf fig Ficus lyrata that I resurrected from the dead, a giant Strelitzia nicolai cycad and a phalaenopsis orchid that currently boasts 40 flowers. I’m actually considering entering it in the royal show,” she says. “Not bad for a former black thumb!”

Green stylist Freya Mengler says while frustrating, failure brings success – eventually. “A green thumb comes from experience, so stick with it,” she says. “The end result is worth it. Plants feed you and gardening is like meditation. I can be plucking bindis out of the lawn and find headspace. It’s quite addictive.”  

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So is the feeling mutual? “Yes I believe plants have feelings,” she says. “My elephant ear plant definitely feels love. It adores being in my bedroom and literally unfurls its leaves with happiness being there.”   

Encouraged? Try Mengler’s tips for successful gardening, happy plants and turning a black thumb green. 

• In summer, water indoor plants once a week and in winter every few weeks. Still unsure? Poke your index finger into the soil and if you can feel moisture up to your first knuckle, it doesn’t require more. After watering, drain your plant or it will drown – roots need air.
• Fertilise your plants early morning or late afternoon and give them a good drink before and after.
• Dust can form a film over leaves that prevents them photosynthesising effectively. A quick dust with water and a soft rag allows them to breathe.
• Don’t let your plants get too leggy or overgrown. Most respond favourably to a light pruning or hair-cut after flowering or fruiting.
• Plant for your microclimate. Every house has one – it is made up of a number of factors including shade, soil quality, rainfall and wind factor. What and where you plant requires careful planning. For example, a shade-loving plant really does require shade, not sun where it will burn.
• Watch programs like Gardening Australia. They are a fantastic resource. As a long-term avid watcher, I still pick up great information from each episode.