Halloween: Why I changed my mind on the controversial holiday

“There’s something strange, in the neighbourhood. Who you gonna call?”

The police. I am calling the police immediately. Because if there’s one thing that chills me to the bone, it’s scores of people dressed as tiny Jedis and Frozen sisters, wandering around my street demanding lollies as if their lives depended on it.

It’s an American holiday anyway; what in the almost literal hell is everyone doing here?

This was my original take on Halloween, or as I used to call it, the “Festival of Gothic Entitlement”. I was especially offended by those kids who thought that putting on a smattering of talcum powder and their mother’s lipstick automatically qualified them for the biscuits I was saving for a special occasion, namely, eating them later that night in front of a repeat of Grey’s Anatomy.

All these tweens I’d never seen before would suddenly find their way to my doorstep and, ignoring the fact that I was pretending nobody was home, would knock until I answered.

Just who did they think they were? More to the point, who did they think I was? A vending machine? Because, I’m sorry to say, there were more than a few times the only thing I had in my fridge was a bottle of rose and half a ripening banana.

What does one do? Well, if you’re anything like me, and afraid – not just of youths but of being thought of as uncool by said youths – you take a deep breath, and explain in your calmest voice, that they will just have to wait while you go and get your wallet.

But this was before I had children. Yes, it’s true what they say: parenting makes disgusting hypocrites of us all.

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Halloween is to me, these days, a little bit weird, and a little bit cute with a fistful of smarties thrown in for good measure. Through the eyes of my own kids, I think it’s adorable to see those scores of teeny tiny Star Wars characters and Frozen girls marching across lawns, often with parents in character.

Because, in Australia, Halloween is not so much about teenage attempts at vandalism and witchcraft as it is about giving littlies a chance to dress up, chat to their neighbours and eat their body weight in lollies. And what could be better than that?

In my day, the only way we as children could get that much junk food into our lower intestines was via the Royal Easter show. Christmas was not the same, there was too much proper meal eating.

As for birthdays, there were too many games before you had what you needed. Which was cake, folded neatly in a napkin and a lolly bag to boot. But now that the show is all but defunct, a new strategy for lolly eating has taken its place. And this is fitting and proper – it’s the way evolution works.

The only new thing about the entire enterprise is the door-knocking. And, as many of the kids are so small, they are almost always accompanied by parents, which means there’s no need to bribe them not to egg your house.

Plus, let’s be honest: we live in a time where nobody has the actual time for neighbourly chats any more. Why should we, when we can yell at strangers on social media?

But, let me tell you, if you’re not already across this, that when you have small children, neighbours take on a new significance. You notice who helps you with your stroller. You notice who smiles at your children. You notice who gives you a dirty look when one of your kids, or both, are throwing themselves into an interpretive tantrum.

And this is probably the main reason I’m in favour of Halloween’s trick or treat tradition – it’s a chance, not just for neighbours to get to know each other, but for parents to display their children in a nominally positive light; to prove that we are all just trying to do our best, and to remember that community is important, before quietly delving into our kids’ lolly stash.