How to make it through isolation without annoying your neighbours

Is your suburb like mine? I go for a walk and there’s DIY happening all over the place.

Right now, there’s hammering over the road, and someone next door is using a water blaster. Yesterday it was a lawn mower and a weed eater. And just 30 minutes ago a young person was practising scales on a saxophone – they need more practice.

DIY

Lockdown is a great time to get on to all these jobs, but those typical weekend sounds are now everyday noises. And the entire neighbourhood (working or otherwise) is home to hear them. This is not a bad thing, within reason.

Late Tuesday on my walk I watched one chap lean out of a top window and boom at the top of his voice to a neighbour two doors along: “Tools down!” You could have heard him a kilometre away. Walkers froze; dogs slunk away. When the hammering failed to stop he boomed even louder, “I said, tools down! It’s time for a beer.” To which the neighbour yelled back. “It’s not six o’clock yet.”

It’s up to all of us to try not to annoy the neighbours, while also being more tolerant ourselves. When you hear coughing next door from the neighbour’s new self-isolating Airbnb tenant, as I did yesterday, you know there’s a good reason we are all keeping our distance.

Serial renovators Alice and Caleb Pearson know all about being respectful while undertaking DIY projects. And they do have some advice: “We’re naturally considerate people and mindful of others. We don’t like to push boundaries, and it’s always good to put yourself in others’ shoes.” Caleb says. “We are also big on planning, which is essential during a lockdown, because it changes things. For starters, there are a lot more neighbours at home and many are working.

“If you are going to be noisy it’s best to minimise the impact and get things done in a concentrated time, rather than spreading it (the noise out). That’s a more efficient use of your time anyway.”

Children 

We all have to put up with the noise of children playing outside. Those are generally happy noises anyway, so let’s not get too grumpy. But at the same time, if they’re your kids, be respectful and give the neighbours a break now and then, with indoor play or a walk.

One of my colleagues says she is mindful of how much “yelling and screaming” she lets the kids do outside, given she knows it can irritate some people. This is true.

The same colleague says her neighbour is an out-of-work builder and the power saw is going all day. I wonder what he’s building in there (with apologies to Tom Waits)? But, like most of us, she is not complaining.

But what if you have a baby that needs to sleep? Alice Pearson, who is pregnant with the couple’s third child, says when you have a newborn it’s a good idea to go to your neighbours and make yourself known. Mention that the baby sleeps between certain hours. “Going over and establishing the routine before there is a problem is a good idea. They won’t know otherwise. At the same time you Can ask your neighbour, ‘How can we be considerate to you and what you have going on at home?'”

Music 

Another colleague living in a flat says her group was asked to turn down the volume on a live stream they were playing last weekend, and they obliged. They have been mindful about the volume ever since.

It’s fair to say we all have different tolerances, and commonly, under stress, that tolerance reduces. With music, it’s generally a case of not too loud for too long or too late (in the evening). It’s not even about what is or isn’t legal; it’s about being fair during an incredibly stressful time.

I have to hand it to the parents of the budding saxophonist. The noise stops after a mere 10 minutes, although that is probably not at the wish of the parents who are paying for those lessons.

Skyping 

And let’s not forget those Skype calls. You can be sure if you are calling with even one window open in your house that every single word of your conversation (that’s both sides of the conversation) can be heard clearly by a people next door – inside their house. What is it about Skype and Facetime in particular that makes us think we need to talk loudly and have the sound amplified? It’s not much fun to listen to this going on at midnight, and we really do get “too much information”.

Threat

If you still think you can ignore the neighbours, you might like to take heed of the threat from Senior Sergeant Andrew O’Reilly.

“We know levels of frustration are getting up there. If you don’t get this lockdown right, it’s going to be extended. Please don’t take matters into your own hands. We have to get it right, this is short-term stress to fix a long-term problem.”

Solution 

Neighbourly has a few suggestions to make things run smoothly (just remember to keep your distance and perhaps use the phone):

“We really encourage Neighbourly members to act the way they’d like their neighbours to act, and to openly discuss any issues they might have with each other – because often the other party has no idea it’s even a problem,” a spokesperson says.

“Talking to each other and coming up with a compromise that works for everyone is often successful when it comes to neighbourhood disputes. Keep it friendly and give your neighbours a chance to make things right. “

OK everybody. Let’s just chill.

This story originally appeared on stuff.co.nz