Living the KonMari way: I asked a decluttering expert to assess my home

I’m on deadline. In the past, deadlines would bring on a serious urge to tidy my house. I’d joke that I knew I had something due when my house was in order. But in January, spurred by the documentary Minimalism, and a decision to “buy no new stuff” in 2018, I bought Spark Joy (admittedly new stuff, but I used up an old gift voucher), by Japanese tidying expert Marie Kondo. And now, there’s nothing to tidy.

Initially, some of Spark Joy seemed ridiculous. “Isn’t that the woman who makes you hug your clothes?” asked my mum. “Surely not!” I replied. When I got to that bit in the book, I conceded that it was. However, by the time I had read that, I’d already decided to follow her method (called the KonMari method), step by step.

See, I’ve been drowning in stuff forever. A recent stock-take found four computers, three cameras, five bikes and three guitars. And two young children. Add countless clothes, books, CDs and photos, and a lot of sentimental knick-knacks. Despite regular donations to the op shop, my home was still filled with stuff, much of which I didn’t really like.

The KonMari method is, essentially, touching everything you have, and working out whether it sparks joy, or not. If it doesn’t, it goes. The sequence is designed to build up your spark joy muscle. Start with clothes. Then books. The kitchen stuff is in the middle, and photos at the end. By the time you get to the photos, your ability to discern what “sparks joy” is finely tuned.

Start the KonMari method with your clothes. Photo: iStock

And so I began. It was exhausting. I got sick. I think I nearly had a breakdown. I’d read her instructions (“move things from the kitchen bench into the cupboards”) and laugh. Impossible. Then I’d do it. A month later, my kitchen benches – never before seen (or clean!) for all the appliances on them – are still clear. “Are you moving out?” asked my mum after seeing a photo.

After decluttering comes storing. Clothes (what was left of them) get folded; aforementioned appliances moved under the bench (but not under the sink), and bookshelves, mostly book-free (I’d kept many purely because I thought I should), now display the little things that spark joy.

It’s an engaging and addictive process. It wasn’t until I looked at my children, and wondered if they sparked joy, that I knew I needed help. Enter Sally Flower, Melbourne’s own Certified KonMari Consultant, from Organise Australia. As soon as I booked her in, I became critical of my efforts. I’d hugged and said goodbye to so much, but I still had stuff I couldn’t deal with.

My kids won her over quickly (lucky for them), and she asked for a tour. I showed her my bedroom first. I started to feel pride. It wasn’t bare, or minimalist; it was filled with things that sparked joy.

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Flower made suggestions as the tour continued. “I’d hang something here,” she said, pointing to walls. She suggested ways I could make frequently used items more accessible, and gave us a lesson on folding fitted sheets, T-shirts and towels. She rearranged my kitchen containers in a few seconds flat (I took a photo so it can stay that way!)

 Next up, assess your books collection… Photo: Stocksy

Finally we got to the large pile of stuff by the door that I’d been unable to deal with. Flower picked the items up, and asked me how I felt about them. We smashed through them, assigning each piece to its new home.

The instruments I’d held onto for decades are now at the local high school. There’s a painting that I can’t decide on, but Flower said even she regrets letting some things go. I’ve decided to wait. As for the kids? They’re definitely staying.

My five biggest KonMari revelations:

1. I don’t need to keep something just because someone gave it to me.
2. It’s up to my kids to do this process themselves (they love the folded clothes).
3. It’s OK to have a photo album that purely contains photos of me looking my best (thanks and goodbye 1988 school photo of me with mullet).
4. There’s a real sense of calm in an ordered home and it transmits to everyone living there (sounds woo-woo, but it’s true.)
5. Getting a professional in is always worth it!