How to survive a renovation with your partner: 10 tips to maintaining a harmonious home

Author: Laura Wheat

They say moving house is one of the most stressful experiences you can encounter in life; clearly “they” haven’t attempted a joint renovation project. Throw DIY, decoration, decision-making and the absence of a working toilet into the mix and you’ve got a recipe for run-ins.

However, there’s something remarkably satisfying about completing a project together: you can craft a home that’s exactly how you want it to be. And the memories you’re left with will keep you laughing long after the paint has dried on the finished project.

Here are 10 tips to help you maintain a harmonious (albeit half-finished) home.

1. Find photos that illustrate your point
   It’s much easier to show your partner an image that depicts what you’re imagining for a space, rather than relying on descriptive powers alone. Plus, once something’s made/painted/bought and they claim not to like it, you have irrefutable evidence that it looks just like the picture. Boom!
   
   

2. Prioritise and plan by season
   There’s no point pushing to get the spare room decorated during the summer if the windows desperately need painting before it turns cold.
   
   Try to plan jobs in a sensible order, based on the season, rather than each other’s personal desire to see a particular task completed immediately. Bargaining skills akin to hostage negotiation may prove advantageous.

3. Believe “done” is better than “perfect”
   When DIYing a home project, don’t get waylaid by insignificant details. Perhaps your partner’s “cutting in” isn’t quite up to your scrupulous standards, but progress beats perfection in most cases. You’ll soon forget to sulk about the ceiling when you’re kicking back with G&Ts in the fantastic new room you’ve created together.

4. Don’t be a decor bore
   There’s nothing worse than getting saddled with an over-enthusiastic keen bean who won’t stop talking about house stuff. Even the most patient and proactive of us needs a break from the onslaught of decisions and general DIY discussion that goes along with home renovation. Think before you speak and save that “great idea” until your partner’s out of the shower.

5. Tackle one job at a time
   Warning: living with every room in a state of upheaval may turn you into an embittered husk of your former self. Encourage each other to finish one job before moving onto the next, rather than trying to manage multiple projects simultaneously.
   
   This will prevent you from growing resentful over your partner’s muddled work methods and help to foster a shared sense of achievement.

6. Do proper swatches
   What your other half terms “baby poo green” may in fact be the greige neutral of dreams, but a small, wishy-washy patch boshed on top of existing paint won’t win over doubters. Paint swatches are best done on a white background, in large squares, with several coats of paint and on multiple walls.
   
   How much does a kitchen benchtop cost?

7. Divide and conquer
   Make a (manageable) list of tasks requiring attention and assign them between you based on skill set, time available and patience level. For example, you might be driven to breaking point by an online kitchen planner, while your partner finds the software totally tolerable.
   
   If in doubt, take one for the team – that vaguely boring job will bag brownie points that you can stash (ready to rub in your other half’s face later).

8. View in person (but order online)
   Yes, it’s an effort to travel to see potential purchases in the flesh, but it’s so much easier for the two of you to judge a piece from having a proper look and feel. Although delivery of big-ticket items is sometimes free, returns are often not – plus giant boxes cluttering up an already chaotic environment have been known to promote divorce.
   
   Best to view in person, but order online. That way, you benefit from distance selling regulations, meaning returns are sometimes allowed even on bespoke items (such as sofas).

9. Know your limits
   When it comes to home renovation, it’s important to recognise when a task is too technical for either of you to attempt. However, if your partner is the over-confident type, he or she might take some convincing that a tool belt does not a builder make.
   
   Try to be tactful by suggesting you get some quotes from professionals to help with budgeting. Hopefully, the degree of difficulty will become alarmingly apparent.
   
   
10. Venture into the garden
    A little time invested now will pay dividends in terms of creating a restful and attractive outside area to enjoy together in summer. The garden could also offer unfamiliar freedom for couples with diametrically opposed ideas. Perhaps each of you can have assigned areas to tinker with, or one partner may be keen to take on the whole task. Score!