The life-altering lunch date that changed an interior designer's philosophy

For 40-something years I have identified as a maximalist. It’s not something I usually apologise for, I’m just a more-is-more kind of girl. Beauty is necessary. Why settle for standard when you can upgrade to luxe?

I was always able to justify my spending by the fact that it kept people in jobs. An active economy promotes employment. The role of the end user is as key to the supply chain as any link along the way. However, recently I experienced a paradigm shift that may have serious repercussions to the retail sector.

My life-altering epiphany occurred during a trip to South East Asia. I can’t claim it was a Paul-on-the-road-to-Damascus moment: it wasn’t that I was blind and couldn’t see. By day three I had already purchased an extra suitcase to hold my shopping overload, so my eyes were working fine.

No, it was simply that I chose to ignore that I was an unrepentant capitalist roader. But the moment I let myself take a broader view was a humbling one, and it gave me pause for thought.

I was visiting my foster daughter in Hoi An. I take time to see her whenever I am in Asia. I have known her since she was little, but she is now grown up and we are great friends.

Mai picked me up from my hotel and we drove out to her countryside home. She lives simply, and very happily. I only ever hear her complain when the neighbour’s chickens get loose in her garden. Apart from that she is the essence of serenity.

When we arrived at her house she couldn’t keep the grin off her face. She had arranged a surprise for me. Sitting in the lounge were two enormous carved wooden thrones, dwarfed only by the equally imposing matching sofa that sat opposite and the coffee table that created a demilitarised zone to keep them from wrestling each other. Embellished with dragons, writhing snakes and other terrifying creatures, this was a lounge suite of horrific magnificence.

It turned out that Mai had borrowed the furniture from friends who had hired it for a wedding the day before. It had taken eight men to lift the pieces into position.”We don’t need this stuff”, she said, “but I know you like to have the best things so I got it so you don’t have to sit on the floor like we usually do”.

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I was flooded with shame. What sort of person was I that required a throne to sit on? My self-indulgent lifestyle suddenly felt extremely shallow. This was further reinforced when about 15 of her neighbours crowded into the room to watch Mai’s “honoured guest” eat lunch. It was at this point I knew my life was unbalanced.

And so, for the 2018 financial year, I have taken a vow of austerity. I have even embraced the B word (starts with “b” and ends with “udget”). It has always been a dirty cuss word in my lexicon, and while I have flirted with it before, the practicalities of such a move have never really stuck.

But this time things are different. Instead of spending like the Aga Khan at a bloodstock sale, I am committed to saving money for a rainy day and making some wise investments. My accountant assures me that this is what grown-ups do. I am also advised that I have enough handbags to last me a lifetime and that I won’t run out of shoes.

It has been a challenge, though. I won’t lie. As an interior designer there is always something I want to do to my home. But this financial year the new wooden floors I want will wait, as will the wallpaper in the master bedroom.

My rules are simple. If I want something new, I start by asking myself if the item will make me genuinely happy. For more than ten minutes. And is it utterly essential that I have it? If I can say yes to all then I have to budget and save until I can afford it or sell something to fund the purchase.

I have recently moved the furniture in my lounge around and the coffee table, though lovely, is now not absolutely perfect. In the past I would have had a new one winging its way from Italy before you could blink, and yes, of course I would like to replace it, but I am sucking it up. The Princess is just going to have to get over herself.

I know there will be those who will judge me for my former spending habits and welcome me “to the real world”, and no doubt somebody will advise me that a couple of old wooden pallets will make me a perfectly functional coffee table.

I am sure I could make a bed out of hay bales and a gunny sack too but thrift doesn’t have to be ugly or uncomfortable. There will be others, like me, who love beautiful things who won’t compromise as I never did. I don’t judge either way.

This is just my personal journey. It might make me a better person and maybe it won’t. Either way, it’s going to be an interesting year.

– This story originally appeared on stuff.co.nz