Things you should never have in your home after 30

Do you consider yourself an adult? I bet your your home says otherwise. According to Urban Dictionary an adult is any person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle. I’m a little harsher in my definition, especially about your middle.  Earn yourself a diploma in adult living at Domain University. Leave your “sorry the place is a mess” excuses at the front door. 

Unframed prints and posters

Source: 8Tracks 

Remember when you’d put up whatever hunk of meat with a low IQ Dolly said was hot? Same goes for FHM. I surely hope it’s a distant memory. Don’t even get me started on things held up by Blu-Tack. There is this great company called 3M. It will change your life.

Trophies on display

Source: Medal Awards Rack

Unless you’ve won a gold medal at the Olympics you should not have trophies on display. Why remind everyone your best days are past you?

Pine furniture

Source: Konteaki Furniture

The ’90s called they want their furniture back. Pick up mum and dad. #sorrynotsorry

Absolutely everything from Ikea

It has everything you need to be an adult under the one roof, right? Wrong. It doesn’t have originality.

Unmade bed

Source: Tumblr

People who make their beds every morning are more productive, better rested and exercise more than people who don’t. Throw in some pinot noir on the weekend and that’s the definition of adult.

Incomplete sets of dishes and cutlery

If you don’t have a complete set of cutlery or plates, I really don’t know how you are impressing people at your dinner parties. Bad mental Yelp review for you.

Shot glass collection

Source: Lively Wood Blogspot

How’s your liver going? Can’t remember? I thought so.

Inflatable furniture

Source: Cool Inflatables 

This is a home not a pool.  

Lava lamps

Source: Etsy 

I’m saying no to these only because they take 38 hours to heat up and as an adult you don’t have time for that. 

Kitschy picture frames

Source: Etsy

Or a digital picture frame for that matter. The thing with photos is that “strength in numbers” does not apply here.  The PowerPoint fade in and fade out gets me every time. 

Mosquito net

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Source: Buzzfeed

Unless you have a doctor’s certificate for a mosquito net, how about you just get a malaria shot?

Fake plants

Source: Restoration Hardware

Everybody always says if you don’t have any real plants in your apartment, don’t have any at all.  

Piles of unopened mail

Source: Michael Graydon

This one is so symbolic. Everything important in life comes in little white envelopes. If you are leaving your bills, Medicare, tax, parking tickets in quiet little piles by your keys, you just need to place one up to your ear like a shell and hear it whisper: “It’s time to grow up, Cass”.

CDs or DVDs on display

Source: Apartment Therapy

They have these great things called garbage bins and that is where CDs and DVDs belong. Or in a cupboard out of sight. Your choice.

Anything under your bed

We’ve all been mayor of dust mite city at some point. Being an adult means making hard decisions, and if you’re using something so infrequently as to let it sleep under your bed, maybe you should throw it out.

Dust

Source: iStock 

This is the kind where it looks like you have carpet on the table. Dust bunnies are not pets. They will grow so large and eat you if you keep feeding them.

Beanbags

Source: Apartment Therapy

I wish I could slash the next beanbag I see and make it snow.

Anything covering a window that is not a curtain

Source: Tapestrys.org

You need privacy right, so why not actually get some privacy. Newspaper would be way better, at least people would think you’re well read. 

Material over lamps

Source: Helloitsvalentine

Little bit of mood lighting, hey? Fire NSW has a thing or two to say about this.

Glow in the dark stars

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Source: Buzzfeed

If adulthood is so hard you’re lying awake at night looking at a fake night sky, I say to you: “There there. There there. Can you open my mail?”