Too close for comfort: Why en suite bathrooms are a terrible idea

Once considered an enviable home luxury, the en suite bathroom has now become part of our everyday.

Most houses and apartments have them. Renovations all seem to include them. And when selling, real estate agents always highlight them.

I’m just not sure why.

In my mind, an en suite simply means that your bathroom is connected to your bedroom. Sometimes a little too closely.

And, quite frankly, I don’t want to sleep in my bathroom. Or within close earshot of it. I definitely don’t want to hear my husband’s bathroom activities, and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t want to hear mine.

Sure, it’s convenient. A prime position, you might say. Much like when you score a car park right outside the front of the shops or your daughter’s hip hop class.

An en suite is much the same. The opportunity has arrived to have a bathroom right at your fingertips, a feeling so awesome that you want it forever.

But just because you use the bathroom from time to time, doesn’t mean you need it permanently joined to where you sleep.

Besides, how close does a bathroom need to be? It’s only a house, after all. The bathroom is never very far. Unless you live in a sprawling mansion – but usually the bigger the house, the more numerous the bathrooms, so there’s bound to be one nearby.

And once you have your en suite, how long will it be before that then feels too far? Do you then build the bathroom even closer to your bed? Maybe completely combine bedroom and bathroom into one functional space where you wake up in the morning and, voila, you’re already in the bathroom. Then at night, you can save another five minutes by simply cleaning your teeth in bed.

The only time I’ve ever really experienced anything like an en suite was living in an apartment in Paris. And when I say apartment, I really mean “tiny room”. But as small as it was, it came with an internal shower. Right next to the kitchenette, squashed in between the dining table and the sleeping area.

And while a combined living/dining/kitchen area generally works well for a small space, having a shower in the middle of it seemed wrong. The toilet was down the hall and I did have to share it with the other residents on my level, but at least there was some separation of space. Having a shower right next to my bed was a little close for comfort.

As a family of four (with two girls fast approaching their teens), one bathroom is just not enough. But when we do get a second bathroom, I don’t want it adjoining my bedroom, only to find guests randomly wandering through to use it.

Recently, we caught up with friends who’ve just finished a beautiful renovation complete with en suite, so I brought up the subject over dinner. But when I put forward my theories, I was quickly shot down. They love their en suite and, to be fair, it is a good distance from their bed and has a very solid door that cuts out any noise or light.

So maybe with the luxury of space between bed and bathroom, the en suite works a treat, but in a two-bedroom semi (or Parisian apartment), I guess I’ll never know.