What it's like to be first time home buyer in your 40s

By
Cat Rodie
April 3, 2018
By the time the author got her ducks in a row property prices had surged. 18 Valentine Grove, Armadale Photo: Jellis Craig

A few weeks ago, I called a real estate agent and made an offer on a house. It was probably the most grown-up thing I have ever done. My heart raced, my hands shook. When I put the phone down I had to go straight out for a run so that I could burn off the adrenalin.   

I felt like one of those “I can’t adult today” memes. Surely this wasn’t the sort of thing I could handle by myself. I was overwhelmed with an urge to call my mum, or any other responsible adult.

I am a first-time home buyer. But unlike the fresh faces of the 32-year-olds who are Australia’s typical first-time home byers, I am in my 40s.

It has been an odd situation to be in. Every step of the way I have felt a need to explain myself. As if getting to 40 without investing in property is some sort of crime against adulthood.

And because of my age, lots of people I came into contact with assumed that I was already a home owner. Probably because of the wrinkles (many), the kids (two), and the husband (one).

My partner and I should have bought our first home 10 years ago. At that point we had the luxury of both being in solid careers earning decent money. Property in Sydney wasn’t exactly cheap, but compared with the eye-watering prices of recent years, there were still plenty of bargains to be had.

But we never quite got our act together. And then babies and extended maternity leave and too much avocado toast got in the way and we missed the boat. Of course, when I say “avocado toast” I mean the exorbitant cost of living in Sydney. Rent, energy bills, childcare!

It’s a funny thing, feeling that you’ve missed the boat. All our friends owned their own homes and while we knew that mortgage stress was a very real and scary thing, we were a bit jealous. But we had made different life choices and we were where we were.

By the time we started to get our ducks in a row property prices had surged. We saved hard and then, in bouts of ‘f— it, we’ll never have enough!’ we splurged. We tortured ourselves with sholuda, coulda, woulda. There were times when I thought that we would never get a foot on the property ladder.

It may well be a First World problem, but there is nothing like the fear of growing old without a safety net to keep you up at night. And with the timeline on the 30-year mortgage heading into retirement age we knew we had to take the plunge.

So last October, my partner and I sat down with a mortgage broker to discuss whether we had the goods for a home loan. It felt like a big step. It was one thing to casually talk about buying somewhere, but actually getting our loan pre-approved – that was scary.

I felt like an imposter. The meeting felt like one of the games of “let’s pretend” that my daughters play with their friends. “You two be the responsible adults and I’ll be the mortgage broker!”

Of course, brokers (as well as agents and conveyancers) are used to dealing with first-time home buyers and their understandable nerves. We didn’t know what we were doing, but they did. And it didn’t matter to them that we were in our 40s.

I suppose the process of buying your first home is a scary and complex one however old you are. Perhaps once I have the keys to my first home in my hand I will actually feel like a grown-up (but I’m not holding my breath). 

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