What to do when you hate your partner’s stuff

Love your partner; hate their taste in decor?

Often it’s easy to put up with your loved one’s “quirky” tastes when you don’t live together. But what about when you decide to shack up?

If only there was a diplomatic way to get around having to constantly clap eyes on that ugly lamp, questionable art piece or frankly excessive collection of bedroom cushions.

Simon Savage, a designer and senior tutor at The Interior Design Academy, says it’s an all-too-common conundrum facing couples.

“Soft furnishings really is the big thing,” he says. “People can suffer some kind of Danish table or what-have-you.

“[But when] cushions and table runners come up – that’s when the s–t hits the domestic fan.”

As an interior designer, Savage is well versed in the delicate negotiations involved in the decorating process. “I become a kind of mediator, for want of a better word,” he says.

In his case, a simple reminder – “that’s what you’re paying me to do” – works a treat. But what if you don’t have a diplomatic interior designer at your disposal?

Savage says a little bit of compromise is required, no matter how much you might detest your other half’s crystal glasses, cup-holding couches or family heirloom pieces.

“If one partner completely takes over, then the other partner mentally packs up about the whole thing,” he warns.

One solution, he says, is to move the item in question to a less-obvious part of the house, preferably without your ploy being uber-obvious.

Perhaps your boyfriend’s framed footy memorabilia might find itself taking a break from the prominence of your lounge room wall.

“There might be a very pleasant hallway where they could be hung up. But often the compensation there could be some decent lighting,” says Savage.

Like in any good relationship, there’s likely to be a little harmless deception involved.

“If there was a lamp that I absolutely hated that my wife had … perhaps I’d be quite happy to let someone smash it by accident,” he half-jokes. “The other old trick is to get someone to give you another lamp as well.”

Of course, there is a certain art to harmoniously mixing your decorating styles, even if you don’t hate each other’s stuff, says Jenny Drew, the editor of online renovation and design platform Houzz Australia.

She says Houzz’s studies have shown that about a third of homeowners can’t articulate their own style. However, many remain convinced they have better taste than their partner.

Drew says debates rage from everything over tile designs, to layouts, lamp placement and taste in art. “Art is very personal and not an easy element to compromise on,” she notes.

Putting together an eclectic gallery wall is one way to “own” the mix of styles.

“Choose a variety of pieces, from portraits to postcards and bunch them together in a truly ‘look at me’ gallery wall. And if you can’t stand the mishmash, add some consistency by choosing similar frames to offset them.”

If all else fails, remember there’s a chance you may be, well, a little deluded, about your rock-solid definition of good taste.

“I don’t think there’s such thing as good taste really – it’s just someone’s opinions,” says Simon Savage.