A spotter's guide to the different types of people you see around Sydney

Welcome to Sydney! There’s no need to look up your location on Google Maps; with a pair of binoculars and this handy spotter’s guide, you’ll know exactly where you are at any given time. Warning: sweeping generalisations ahead.

Western Sydney

Known colloquially as “westies”, residents of western Sydney are a much-maligned species that live far from the glistening coastline but not quite far enough to fall into the artsy bosom of the Blue Mountains. 

Self-proclaimed battlers, westies can often be found sitting on their front porches whinging about property investors and long commutes. Singlets and Southern Cross tattoos are popular fashion choices.

On hot days, they migrate to the air-conditioned comfort of the nearest Westfield or the beaches of the eastern suburbs.

Where most of life’s contemplations take place in western Sydney. Photo: Getty, Bloomberg

Eastern suburbs

Easily identifiable by their crushing mortgages and crippling status anxiety, eastern suburbanites enjoy fantasising about moving to the inner west or upper north shore in order to have backyards large enough to entertain all their friends. The latter scenario conveniently ignores the fact their friends will never cross the bridge to visit them.

The female of the species has the more exotic plumage. Look for Saltwater sandals, denim cut-offs, crochet bikini tops and spray tan. In Bondi, both genders enjoy diets high in kale, quinoa and coconut water. 

Popular topics of conversation include bemoaning the tragedy of trees felled to make way for the light rail, gleefully predicting how much house prices will rise when the light rail commences and whining about all the westies at the beach in summer.

The ever so Instagramable Bondi Icebergs. Photo: Getty, Ryan Pierse

Inner west

What a difference a year makes. Whereas 12 months ago, the typical male resident of Erskineville and surrounds was marked by his luscious – if lentil-flecked – facial hair, razor sales are skyrocketing in this part of Sydney. 

Smooth skin may be back in vogue but some things haven’t changed. The inner west remains Sydney’s vegan heartland. Craft beers are the tipple of choice, Poodle crossbreeds sniff each other out at parks and each street has at least one rainbow family. 

Inner west natives love nothing more than making preserves and pickles to sell at community fairs and erecting brightly painted lending libraries out the front of their quaint terrace houses. 

Over in Balmain, playing chicken on the footpaths with mums pushing Bugaboo prams is a popular pastime, while in the Haberfield region residents can be heard railing against all things WestConnex.

 Quaint terrace houses in Balmain. Photo: Getty, Bloomberg

Lower north shore

Renowned as one of the most insular suburbs on the lower north shore, Mosman is a social and cultural bubble where “White Australia” isn’t just an anachronistic immigration policy, it’s a demographic reality. 

It’s a little-known fact that the lower north shore is also home to Sydney’s highest concentration of elite athletes: those cashed-up mums in designer activewear who compete in the weekday heptathlon of expensive after-school activities. 

Another popular pastime is shelling out thousands of dollars in application fees for private schools, smug in the knowledge their sproglets are so gifted and talented they will probably win scholarships anyway.

Residents of the lower north shore display an abiding commitment to saving the planet by ticking the “carbon offset” box when booking flights to Aspen each year.

Balmoral Beach is an urban locality in the suburb of Mosman. Photo: Getty, Steve Christo

Sutherland Shire

Identifiable in the past by their “You flew here, we grew here” T-shirts, Shire-dwellers have come of age. Today, you’re more likely to find them strolling the Cronulla Esplanade while drinking fresh juice and eating bliss balls. 

The male resident typically sports at least one item of high-vis clothing, while the female of the species prefers white jeans ripped to display more skin than fabric. 

Over-development is the No.1 topic of conversation. Hobbies include queuing outside new cafes, adding contraband to neighbours’ council collection piles and posting on Facebook demanding information the moment they hear loud music, sirens or helicopters.

Australia Day at Cronulla Beach. Photo: Fairfax Media

Northern beaches

Northern beaches natives take their style cues from the Hamptons via Brittany, favouring whitewashed coastal interiors and wardrobes consisting exclusively of relaxed linens, striped tops and budgie smugglers. 

Residents enjoy complaining about being ignored by government yet would rather waste years of their life sitting in traffic than stoop to voting Labor.

Tradie central, this is the part of Sydney in which you’re most likely to hear the words “Tony Abbott’s not a bad bloke”, possibly spoken by Tony Abbott himself. In this case, maintain eye contact at all times in case he, too, is wearing budgie smugglers.

Customers sit in the outdoor area of a cafe in the Manly area. Photo: Getty, Bloomberg