First room reveals on The Block: master en suites are a stinker

The judges arrive – Whitaker, Shaynna Blaze and Darren Palmer.

And they instantly smell a rat.

Darren is deeply offended by this aggressively amorous candle message in Dan and Carleen’s pad.

Photo: Channel Nine

To be fair, Dan is a former AFL player and I have heard footy boys use that as a pick up line (not on me, though — I should be so lucky).

Neale docks them a point and declares that candle is the worst thing he has ever seen on The Block.

Photo: Channel Nine

Neale hates Dan’s candle choices. Dan questions his life’s purpose.

Photo: Channel Nine

In Andy and Ben’s apartment, the verdict is just as dire.

“If this is a starting point … start again,” Shaynna says, cursing them for styling a multi-million dollar property with supermarket-bought plastic Bic razors and Radox shower gel.

But the boys are from Geelong, bless, where knowing your atelier from your Aldi will get you bashed in the outer at Kardinia Park, so they’ve done their best.

Photo: Channel Nine

However, the worst is yet to come.

Neale discovers the upright loo roll holder in Kim and Chris’ shades-of-brown bathroom. He thinks it looks like a lever to turn the dunny into a dodgem car.

Photo: Channel Nine

Photo: Channel Nine

Neale shouldn’t knock it. It might be the most fun he’s ever had.

Julia and Sasha’s bathroom does not have a dodgem dunny roll holder and so they snare a win with a score of 26.5.

Julia and Sasha’s winning room – the main en suite – on week one of The Block for 2016. Photo: Channel Nine/The Block

Runners-up are Will and Karlie (25), followed by Andy and Ben (21.5), Kim and Chris (19.5) and Dan and Carleen at the rear (17).

Will and Karlie. Photo: Channel Nine/The Block

Ben and Andy. Photo: Channel Nine/The Block

Kim and Chris. Photo: Channel Nine/The Block

Dan and Carleen. Photo: Channel Nine/The Block