Main bathroom reveals on The Block: hold on for the bathroom without a toot

It’s main bathroom week on The Block and there’s some poo slinging to be done.

Julia gloriously calls girlfriend Sasha a “f****** moll” in a spat over sconces (my ex and I always used to bicker about those).

Keith the foreman is swearing at a tradie over puddle flanges (don’t you just hate them?).

But Andy and Ben, they are lovers, not fighters … and they are going the battered sav. And are in need of some Tinder action, quick smart.

“Still without a bath,” Andy says.

“Still without hopes and dreams,” Ben says.

Bleak, deep stuff. And no toot on which to sit and contemplate it all.

Will and Karlie are first to be judged by Shaynna Blaze, Darren Palmer and Neale Whitaker.

They are the really ridiculously good looking couple from Queensland with great taste, whose pashing and romantic getaways remind us all that our own love lives and home decorating choices suck.

“So glamorous,” Shaynna says. “I feel good in here.”

Sickening.

Upstairs, Carleen and Dan make a comeback (Carleen christened Shaynna an “absolute bogan from nowhere” after last week’s guest bedroom lashing) with a period feature bathroom that Darren says is a “new traditional” style from Milan.

But over in Andy and Ben’s pad, the judges are agog that the boys haven’t installed a dunny … traditional, you know, for a bathroom.

But Andy explains it this way: “If a male can look you dead in the eye and say they do not do a wee in the shower, they are a liar.”

Yes, holding it in is very bad for the kidneys.

In Julia and Sasha’s bathroom, the judges swoon and step into the shower.

The girls designed the bench for shaving legs, but we all know what it’s really for. Far more amorous activities…

And the judges’ shower menage, with that “love” seat, makes for the most asexual moment of the season, but it’s in Kim and Chris’ bathroom where passions really spill over. Neale and Darren fail to agree, after heartfelt spiels, on whether there’s anything good about the finished product … itself a menage of deco and period.

The judges are having the most tingly feelings for the Perth codgers and give the win to Dan and Carleen, who have turned a corner since candlegate, with a score of 29.

They clobber Julia and Sasha by half a point, ahead of Will and Karlie (27), Andy and Ben (19.5) and Kim and Chris at the butt-end (19).