Suburb shame: why do people lie about where they live?

A suburb’s reputation is a key consideration when finding a new place to move to. But not all suburb reputations were created equal, and some people can’t help but feel that their neighbourhoods just aren’t cool. And they might be inclined to lie about it. After all, suburb shame is a real phenomenon.

Some suburbs are hard to explain where they are and no one’s ever really heard of them. For me, adopting a false suburb identity started out harmlessly, exaggerating a little bit to someone who I knew wouldn’t check up on me. I like to say that I live on Sydney’s Northern Beaches which is technically true but, as there are no ocean views, no bars and restaurants welcoming patrons wearing bikinis, no tanned and salty seniors, I’ve drawn weird looks telling surf rats I’m one of them.

Where we live is one of the first things we talk about with strangers —your Uber driver usually offers you a mint or a bottle of water and then asks where you live, even though they probably picked you up from your house. But like any other aspect of our identity, some people habitually give a false address to create a better impression of themselves. 

To further investigate the phenomenon of suburb shame I spoke to some fellow Aussies about why they were feeling this way.

Jackson lives in Wagga Wagga, but he finds that when he leaves the NSW town, not many people know where it is.

“When I’m out in a different city I know the taxi driver and the people in the bars don’t know who I am,” he says.

“It’s quite a good laugh to be from somewhere else like Perth or Wollongong for a night. But it has backfired; one guy knew the area and asked me what street I lived on and I got caught out.”

Often you can’t help but instantly judge someone on where they live, or else you’ve already guessed based on their outfit/choice of beer/accent/haircut/football team.  You can usually guess someone’s proximity to the coast by external factors; if they’re wearing thongs and boardies in winter they live near a beach, but if they’re in head-to-toe RM Williams you’ve assumed they hail from further inland.

Rebecca has lived in Sydney for a year but she still has the habit of telling people she’s “from the country”. She says it’s a good conversation starter because you’ve got a different response when everyone’s asking each other which school they went to and “oh, do you know so and so”. People think it’s interesting and there’s something appealing about being “other” to your fellow uni students. But she won’t admit which small town she actually grew up in unless pushed because, “well yeah, it’s not great there”.

While some Aussies are embarrassed to be associated with a small or boring locale, the reverse can also be true. Some people are ashamed of their posh address and they don’t want people to judge them for being stuck up or entitled. 

Ingrid lives in Woollahra but she says it depends on who she’s talking to as to whether she’ll be honest about it. With certain crowds she doesn’t want them to think she’s up herself or really wealthy. If she does fess up she’s very quick to add that she’s renting with two others, and not earning too much money, and is actually a really nice person… most of the time.