The Block 2015: Kingi and Caro finally break their hoodoo

Teams have toiled on The Block for a month now, and are developing a better understanding of what makes the judges froth like the top of a chai latte.

Just don’t call the flickering candles, strategically placed antique books and flourishes of flowers in their rooms “knick knacks”. They are “interior decor items”, says judge Darren Palmer, who pulled up Caro for daring to dismiss objet with such cursory indifference.

Say what?!

But the contestants have more to worry about than causing Darren to crack over what to call an overpriced vase.

Vonni is confined to a moon boot, nursing a nasty leg injury after a fall, and Andrew’s emotional state is just as fragile.

There are 24 hours left until the teams reveal their third and final bedrooms and en suites.

The Tinderlings, Andrew and girlfriend Whitney, had a mini breakdown last week when they failed to finish their master bedroom in a funk of stress and poor time management.

Whitney hasn’t showered for three days and she has dared to nick off to wash, sanitise and deodorise, with an unpainted wall – right where the bed head needs to be fitted – to greet her band of grumpy builders.

The next few minutes is a blur of bleeped out swear words, tears from Andrew and a very distinct “get %$*#@!” exchanged between the (maybe soon former) love birds. 

A fine bromance as ForeDan tries to console Andrew.

Rejected. ForeDan’s advances are cold comfort for upset Andrew.

Foreman Keith attempts to pour some sugar on it.

“They are delicate, so let’s tone it down a bit,” he warns Whitney and Andrew’s irritated builders.

This paves the way for a cockle warming, manly feelings talk, in which Andrew asks Ben the builder something about a tool, and then they get the heck on with it.

All this makes Whitney’s ovaries jangle and she declares Andrew her “BFBFF” – boyfriend and best friend forever – and tickles him. #blessed

With the good vibes rolling once more, Vonni – who has some spare time – offers to help the Tindlerings with whatever they might need.

A back massage is what they desire the most and Andrew breathlessly says how lovely it is to “have a woman’s touch”. So it seems that calling a boy your BFBFF and tickling him doesn’t win the slap and tickle. 

Andrew – Tinder user – has longed to enjoy a woman’s touch. Was that in his profile?

On that note, Suzi has discovered Shay and Dean in the penthouse have hired a handsome tradie, who belongs more in a Christian Dior ad than at a carpenter’s table.

“Do you want me to knock that for you?” Suzi asks, picking up his hammer.

“Can you make a door so we can have some privacy?”

Suzi going hammer and tongs at Shay and Dean’s hoy tradie.

No time for that Suzi, because the judges have arrived.

Caro and Kingi are first to be judged for their “Scan-dustrial” (is that really a thing?) room. 

Amazing and beautiful are the superlatives used, and Darren declares that Caro “gives good knick-knack”. It’s what every girl wants to hear.

Shaynna Blaze offers the ultimate compliment when she says the Townsville pair should consider “doing this for a living”.

Whitney and Andrew are up next and the judges are enamoured by the “hot ginger” paint (read: Tinder flame orange), tempered by the retro pastel styling.

But the demographic targeted here is too young – no 20-something buyer is going to have the millions needed to afford a Block apartment. So, in that, they’ve missed the mark.

Better luck next time for Whitney and Andrew.

Suzi and Vonni scored perfectly in the master bedroom last week – three 10s – and the pressure is on to deliver again.

They have opted for another full glass feature wall, to mirror their other guest bedroom. This one depicts the historic Royal Exhibition Building in the Carlton Gardens.

Neale Whitaker adores it and, having hated their last glass effort, is happy to be proven wrong.

Suzi and Vonni thought they had this week’s win in the bag.

But poor Ebony and Luke can’t catch a trick.

The siblings’ dominant art deco headboard is not so much drama as it is a trauma, Darren says.

“To me, that is a cartoon version of art deco,” Neale says. Ouch.

The room is funereal and morbid, says Shaynna. But bless Darren for fossicking to find a positive. He thinks their light switches are “sexy” – and when that’s all that excites him, you know you are in trouble.

Luke and Ebony are yet to really impress the judges.

Dean and Shay play it less safe and install a concrete panelled wall, studded with copper bolts. “Cool” say the judges, but the pendants peeve Neale. Just like Anchorman’s Brick Tamland, he loves lamp. #ilovelamp

Dean and Shay took risks this week with their last bedroom.

Scores are in and Suzi screams, thinking she has won, but the victory – and $10,000 – goes to Kingi and Caro, the couple who have come second every week since the show started.

Suzi (“I am pretty bad at maths”) and Vonni are second, followed by Dean and Shay, Whitney and Andrew, and Luke and Ebony.

Suzi adds up the judges scores incorrectly and gets prematurely excited. There isn’t even a tradie nearby.

Suzi. First to enrol in the Derek Zoolander School for Bikini Models Who Can’t Do Maths Good.

The teams are moving on to three rooms – study, powder room and laundry – ensuring yet more pain.