The Block 2018 second guest bedroom reveal recap: Kerrie and Spence's secret feature exposed

We’re nearing the end of television’s most arduous renovation — not television’s most arduous task, mind you, because that’s sitting through a whole season of House Rules — and the contestants are starting to look like many people do two days before pay day.

That’s right, a Nimble rabbit is about to pop out and offer them a highly-inflated interest rate loan. Only joking. What isn’t a laughing matter for the team is that most of them are broke. B-R-O-K-E. So much so that Jess boasts in tonight’s instalment of only spending $8 on her entire room. But more of that later.

Carla and Bianca are making a study nook in their guest bedroom but they still have their terrace to go. They are willing to sacrifice their guest bedroom to create a winning terrace. But they need a crane to get everything up – which needs body corporate approval.

And it wouldn’t be a room reveal without another last-minute crisis of confidence from Courtney about her styling ability, this time with such classic lines as “f— I forgot to buy a valance” and “I hate throws. Throws are vomit.”

After a brief visit from contestants’ parents and kids – always fun when the parents drop by when you’re not expecting it – it’s time for the return of our cushion royals, the judges.

Carla reckons she’s had a shocker and hasn’t executed her vision. She rates her room a -3.

Inexplicably, Norm is wearing a top hat and tails to room reveal. Bianca and Carla are wearing bridesmaids’ dresses to match their perennial room reveal status. The three of them make quite a group, leaving Jess to quip “I’m currently on Tinder”.

The judges begin their day at the top, in Bianca and Carla’s penthouse. Despite Carla putting the mockers on her efforts, Shaynna Blaze is left fanning herself because she is so hot for it.

Related: View the five Gatwick apartments for sale

• Kerrie and Spence: 1/34 Fitzroy Street, St Kilda
• Hans and Courtney: 2/34 Fitzroy Street, St Kilda
• Sara and Hayden: 3/34 Fitzroy Street, St Kilda
• Norm and Jess: 4/34 Fitzroy Street, St Kilda
• Bianca and Carla: 5/34 Fitzroy Street, St Kilda

“This is beautiful, this is nuanced, this is grand,” says Darren Palmer.

But it’s not all good news. The judges hate the “mean” bedside lamps, particularly because they spent so much on lighting everywhere else (including being able to turn their overhead lights fuchsia – who knows why exactly you would want to, but the ability is there).

Next door at Jess and Norm’s, Blaze immediately looks at the bed and says they must do the same in the master (which she hated, if you recall) because it feels so spacious.

Neale Whitaker praises Norm and Jess’ use of grey, and for not introducing another colour. Cue the banter from all corners about how many shades of grey were featured.

Not so well-received were the “daggy” flowers, which Blaze said appeared to have been bought from the local servo. Fact check: Jess bought them at Woolies for $8.

Downstairs, at Sara and Hayden’s, the bedhead and roof win praise, as does most of the bed linen – apart from a fluffy black throw that Palmer describes as “a bit Jon Snow/Game of Thrones-y”.

It’s a tight space, and Blaze feels Sara and Hayden are again confused about their potential buyer. She says they’ve aimed for a late 20s, early 30s buyer but this room is old-fashioned, and the room is styled for an older clientele.

Whitaker is very comfortable in the room, perhaps because he fits better as a mid-50s downsizer.

At Hans and Courtney’s, the great smell that greets the judges and the praise for the styling soon makes way for Whitaker’s claustrophobia.

The bed is in the wrong spot, leading to a feeling that too much is at one end. And for Whitaker, it’s another disappointment from Hans and Courtney when it comes to bedrooms.

“I can’t help feeling that come open for inspection, some potential buyers might walk through this apartment and go ‘oh, great living space but disappointing bedrooms’.”

Finally at Kerrie and Spence’s, though the room is small, it doesn’t feel as small as Courtney and Hans’ because of better bed orientation.

And for all the “nice” parts of the room (remember that for the judges on The Block, nice is a word you never want to hear, in the same way you never want to be a “nice” date), the judges can’t get excited about it, or even think that they’ll remember it once they leave (there’s that date analogy again).

Having said that, surely you don’t want to remember a guest bedroom for too long. If your guest does, they’ll want to stay again … and who really wants that?!

Kerrie and Spence also have their secret study. Well, secret until now. The other contestants look as though Christmas has been cancelled when they’re told that Kerrie and Spence have an edge for potential buyers.

Final scores

1. Bianca and Carla: 28.5

2. Norm and Jess: 27.5

3. Hayden and Sara: 26

3. Kerrie and Spence: 26

5. Courtney and Hans: 25