The Block 2019 guest en suite reveal recap: Mixed reviews for the 'week one from hell'

This episode begins with Andy rapping about his fellow contestants. Usually when a reality TV contestant is jonesing so hard for a career in the entertainment industry it irks, but for some reason Andy gets away with it. This is no mean feat, because usually we’d be hollering our displeasure at the television. 

All of the competitors are stone-cold knackered after attempting to complete a guest bedroom and bathroom in the first week. Thanks to the fatigue and pressure a few people are niggling at their partner, which always makes for great television. You can cut the tension like one of the complimentary Lite ‘n’ Easy lasagnes.

All but two of the couples failed to complete the guest bedroom earlier in the week, so the pressure is on to see who can get their bathroom delivered on time. 

Tess & Luke

The young cuties from Cairns have ambitiously gone for a large en suite (including a double vanity and a free-standing bathtub), because as Tess says, “who doesn’t like a big bathroom?” Turns out the three judges on The Block, that’s who.

Upon entering the bathroom Neale declares “I’m not seeing anything I haven’t seen before” and the overall sentiment was that it was “undercooked”. Shaynna thought the super-sized en suite was “overblown” and they might burn through their budget too soon. 

El’ise & Matt

Putting aside the fact that El’ise spells her name like that, we were quite into this couple until Matt yelled at a tradie named Sam and made his face go like this:

Their en suite got mixed reviews from the judges. 

Darren was into it saying he loved 90 per cent of what they had done, but Shaynna found the little animal statues a bit weird and the pendant light impractical for applying makeup. They also completely tipped on the choice of flooring saying it looked like cheap lino. Which is pretty much the ultimate Block burn. 

Mitch & Mark

The grandads from Bondi copped criticism from the judges that their guest bedroom was “over-styled” earlier in the week, so they listened to the feedback (unlike Jesse and Mel … more on that later) and aimed for a simpler en suite. 

But that doesn’t mean their en suite was devoid of drama. They opted to install huge porcelain tiles that were more fragile than a baby bird’s bones.

The pair finished their en suite on time and the judges loved the hell out of the clean white lines. 

Neale liked the simple glamour and likened it to a 1940s film set. The only negatives were the paintwork was a bit patchy and they still may be spending too much on luxury items such as the utterly regal remote-controlled toilet. 

Jesse & Mel 

The St Kilda locals won the guest bedroom reveal earlier this week and took home the $140,000 prize.

But it’s not all beer and skittles – Jesse got yelled at by Scotty Cam and had to rip up their bathroom floor and endure another safety induction because he did something daft. This meant they fell behind in the en suite game, but Jesse wasn’t concerned because he is a secret tiler. That’s all very well and good, but he’s rubbish at maths and didn’t order enough tiles so there was some serious effing about trying to get more from a warehouse.

At one stage Jesse throws shade at Deb and Andy saying he “feels sorry for them” being from Perth and not knowing what a nice bathroom looks like. This statement comes back to haunt him deliciously at judging time.

Despite Jesse spending the evening cutting tiles by the side of the road in his van like some kind of reno hobo, they couldn’t get their bathroom completed in time. The judges likened their en suite to a “grey tomb,” with Darren suggesting they paint the remaining walls white to give it a bit of a lift.

Jesse and Mel all but flipped the bird at this suggestion, saying that they are not here to impress the judges, they are here to “win The Block”. An attitude that is bound to go down like a bag of rain-soaked cement.

Andy & Deb

This pair failed to complete their bedroom earlier in the week and tied for last place with Luke and Tess. On the upside they began working on their en suite early, so they kicked off this challenge ahead of the other couples. 

Neale fell for their “subtle, earthy glamour” bathroom hard, saying he wants to pick it up and put it in his own home. The floating vanity with rustic baskets underneath was a hit, as was the circular shaving cabinet. The pair were complimented on balancing aesthetics and functionality and delivering a beautiful bathroom without blowing heaps o’ cash. 

In the end, the $10,000 prize went to Andy and Deb, who just pipped Mitch and Mark by half a point. Jesse and Mel tanked, and now the score board looks like this:

• Andy and Deb (en suite challenge winners, scoring an extra $10K for their budget) – went from last place to first with a score of 28
• Mitch and Mark are in second place, having completed both reveals, on 27.5
• El’ise and Matt are in third place with 22 points
• Tess and Luke failed to complete both rooms on time and have a score of 20 points
• Jesse and Mel are last on 14 points despite having won the guest bedroom challenge

We’ll be back next week for the formal lounge room reveals. In the meantime, here’s a shot of Jesse and Mel sulking to keep you warm.

Simone Mitchell is a freelance writer. You can find her on Twitter.