The truth about living alone

If you’re one of the 1.9 million or so Aussies shacking up, well, with yourself, the art of living alone can be a complex beast to negotiate.

For those escaping the sometimes-questionable charms of a sharehouse – or perhaps calling time on an overripe romance – moving into one’s own home can seem like bliss.

Your own tasteful décor (dream-catchers be gone)! No one to negotiate with! No tension-filled silences over delayed dishwashing! And of course, not a single moment’s wait for the shower.

But of course with almost every up – and there are many – there must come a down.

Here’s the uncensored version of living alone. Because sometimes freedom isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Except when it is.

1. You don’t have to suffer anyone else’s crap TV choices. But you really wish you had someone to bag out The Bachelor with.

2. Ah, the serenity of early morning silence! Of course, if you’ve carked it in your sleep, or been eaten by Alsatians, it may take the world a while to notice.

3. Your house will always be Just. How. You. Left. It. Which, if you have the cleaning skills of a hoarder, may not be a good thing.
 

4. Every sweet little shelf in the fridge is yours. However they’re all empty, because cooking for one is just a tad bit uninspiring.
 

5. In a busy week chock-full of social engagements, returning to your own space is like a little slice of heaven. Until you have a quiet one, and then suddenly you’re like a prisoner shackled in solitary confinement.

6. Inquiries about your flatmate’s workday are no longer obligatory. But when you want to offload, you’re forced to simmer in silence, or bore someone senseless over the phone.

7. If you get lonely, you can just go out, or invite a friend over! Sometimes it’s just easier just to trawl Facebook and admire other people’s frenetic family and social lives though. Facebook is the same as face-to-face contact, right?

8. You can sleep whenever you want, without liquored-up flatmates banging the front door at weird hours, or partners rising at 5am for stupidly-timed exercise. Then again, some sounds of human life might inspire you to get out of bed in the morning.

9. Awkward chats over bill splitting are no longer a problem. Yes that’s right, there’s no bill splitting. And did you forget you have to pay the entire rent/mortgage on your own?

10. Every part of this one-person paradise is yours, even if sometimes you miss having a bit of company. Soak it up while you can: at some time in the not-too distant future you may not only be sharing your living space, but your wardrobe too.